Dear departed
Most burials of people from New Malden took place in the local cemetery opened at Bonner Hill in June 1855. To quote the Surrey Comet “It’s beautiful and elevated position presents an imposing spectacle of chasteness of design and perfect adaptability to the purposes for which it is intended” Unfortunately, the Comet was not at the opening ceremony, as the reporter forgot to purchase a blue ticket of admission from the Burial Board. It was quite a journey from New Malden, but a journey early residents were used to making, as the nearest church was St Peters in Norbiton and until the 1860s was Malden’s parish church.
A cemetery was a necessity due to the ever-increasing population; the churchyard at All Saints in Kingston was full, as was the burial ground in Church Street opened in 1826.
CONSORTING WITH GRIEF
The funeral profession became an industry after the death of the Prince Consort Albert just before Christmas 1861. His widow Queen Victoria went into mourning immediately and stayed there for nearly forty years until her death in 1901, although she came back publicly into her subjects lives for her golden jubilee in 1887 and afterwards.
When the Prince died the Town Council at Kingston sent a letter of condolence to the Queen which was common practice. During church prayers for the Royal Family the vicar made reference to Albert’s death in such a way that some members of the congregation were in tears. The Union Flag edged in black, was raised to half-mast on the flagpole on All Saints Church, all the shops in the area closed their shutters, and all festive celebrations were suspended.
Victoria set a fashion with her length and style of mourning and fashion “houses” started producing outfits and accessories e.g. beads and bracelets made from Whitby jet. Hair from the deceased could be placed in a locket or woven into bracelets or watch chains. Even handkerchiefs were specially produced with black borders. During mourning attendance at theatres, weddings, and receptions was out of the question. A heavy veil for women mourning husbands was standard for the first twelve months, with a lighter veil then being in use. Even servants if you had them were required to wear mourning. Mirrors were covered and babies were dressed in black armbands, so important was the ritual.
The standard length of mourning in Victorian times were for a husband two to three years, and for a wife three months. Persons were supposed to go into mourning within 24 hours of their loved ones death. They had to be properly attired, which could mean a completely new outfit for women, while some men could get away with just a black armband. There were mourning rules for all members of the immediate family:
Death of a parent or child one year
Death of a brother or sister six months
Death of a grandparent six months
Death of an aunt or uncle three months
Death of a nephew or niece two months
Death of a great aunt or uncle six weeks
Death of a cousin four to six weeks
During the last six months of mourning by a widow on behalf of her husband, added bits of colour (purples/greys were allowed in outfits. Coming out of mourning persons were required to send cards to their all friends and acquaintances to state they were equal to the paying and receiving of calls before that any callers had to respect the mourners’ privacy, which was sometimes signified by tying the door knocker with black crape.
THE PROCEDURE
Death in the Victorian/Edwardian age in Malden was much more commonplace than today. If the person died in an accident, a Coroner’s Inquest would be held at the request of the doctor before signing the death certificate. Because of necessity, the inquest would be held within 24 hours normally in a public house or other building. Examination of the body was basic and a verdict recorded on the certificate. Death by suicide, would mean that the assets would be forfeited to the state, so normally the proviso of words like “while temporarily insane” were included for the sake of immediate family.
If there was not an undertaker to take charge of the proceedings, a local carpenter/joiner would provide a coffin, and if he had the room his business could also accommodate a laying-in chapel. Shrouds were available to buy, or could be made at home. Coffins were usually made of oak or elm with a sawdust filled mattress with charcoal or lavender added. If the family was well to do, and the burial was in a vault, a lead lined coffin was used possibly covered in velvet or satin with embellishments.
Mrs Margaretta Sim of Coombe House who died in 1871 was buried in the family vault at Kingston in a lead coffin encased in another of polished oak. The hearse was drawn by four horses with black velvet covers on their backs and black plumes about six inches long, and was followed by seven coaches and eight carriages holding four to six people, as the great and the good came to pay their final respects. The arrangements were carried out by Shrubsoles of Kingston.
When the master of the house John Coysgarne Sim died in 1875, his funeral procession consisted of the hearse with four horses, then fourteen mourning coaches each with a pair of horses. Then came the two coaches used by the house, followed by 20 further coaches from the neighbourhood. Thirty-seven coaches in all. It is interesting to note that all the mourners were men, because women were regarded as too emotional for such an occasion.
FUNERAL COSTS
Normal family funerals would include the coffin being kept in the front parlour at home until the ceremony. If no parlour was available, then the coffin could go on two kitchen chairs covered by a tablecloth. A carriage with horses was expensive and could cost around £100 to hire, so it was not unusual for a handcart operated by up to 4 men to use to transport the securely strapped coffin to the graveyard. A black cloth called a pall could be hired to cover the coffin which is where the name pallbearer comes from. Help with the cost was available from a contributory burial fund, when the average price of a funeral could be as much as £5. This was gradually replaced by life insurance. The other alternative was a parish or pauper funeral which carried s dreadful stigma. Cremations were illegal until 1885, and did not become commonplace until the 1940s.
There were usually two parts to most funerals. The first was inside a church and could be quite short, whilst the second part was at the graveside with close members of the family but as mentioned previously no women. Many bereaved wives would have to wait until a more convenient time and when the graveside was quiet to privately grieve for their late husbands.
Other traditions included the closing of blinds especially among traders as a sign of respect. If there was a funeral service at a local church, there would be a tolling of a single bell when the procession left for the cemetery.
After the funeral, everybody would go back to the family house for a meal. This was mostly in the form of cold meat and trimmings and was called the wake.
The horrors of World War One put an end to the lavish and regulated procedures to be observed and the ceremony developed into the solemnity we observe today.
Most burials of people from New Malden took place in the local cemetery opened at Bonner Hill in June 1855. To quote the Surrey Comet “It’s beautiful and elevated position presents an imposing spectacle of chasteness of design and perfect adaptability to the purposes for which it is intended” Unfortunately, the Comet was not at the opening ceremony, as the reporter forgot to purchase a blue ticket of admission from the Burial Board. It was quite a journey from New Malden, but a journey early residents were used to making, as the nearest church was St Peters in Norbiton and until the 1860s was Malden’s parish church.
A cemetery was a necessity due to the ever-increasing population; the churchyard at All Saints in Kingston was full, as was the burial ground in Church Street opened in 1826.
CONSORTING WITH GRIEF
The funeral profession became an industry after the death of the Prince Consort Albert just before Christmas 1861. His widow Queen Victoria went into mourning immediately and stayed there for nearly forty years until her death in 1901, although she came back publicly into her subjects lives for her golden jubilee in 1887 and afterwards.
When the Prince died the Town Council at Kingston sent a letter of condolence to the Queen which was common practice. During church prayers for the Royal Family the vicar made reference to Albert’s death in such a way that some members of the congregation were in tears. The Union Flag edged in black, was raised to half-mast on the flagpole on All Saints Church, all the shops in the area closed their shutters, and all festive celebrations were suspended.
Victoria set a fashion with her length and style of mourning and fashion “houses” started producing outfits and accessories e.g. beads and bracelets made from Whitby jet. Hair from the deceased could be placed in a locket or woven into bracelets or watch chains. Even handkerchiefs were specially produced with black borders. During mourning attendance at theatres, weddings, and receptions was out of the question. A heavy veil for women mourning husbands was standard for the first twelve months, with a lighter veil then being in use. Even servants if you had them were required to wear mourning. Mirrors were covered and babies were dressed in black armbands, so important was the ritual.
The standard length of mourning in Victorian times were for a husband two to three years, and for a wife three months. Persons were supposed to go into mourning within 24 hours of their loved ones death. They had to be properly attired, which could mean a completely new outfit for women, while some men could get away with just a black armband. There were mourning rules for all members of the immediate family:
Death of a parent or child one year
Death of a brother or sister six months
Death of a grandparent six months
Death of an aunt or uncle three months
Death of a nephew or niece two months
Death of a great aunt or uncle six weeks
Death of a cousin four to six weeks
During the last six months of mourning by a widow on behalf of her husband, added bits of colour (purples/greys were allowed in outfits. Coming out of mourning persons were required to send cards to their all friends and acquaintances to state they were equal to the paying and receiving of calls before that any callers had to respect the mourners’ privacy, which was sometimes signified by tying the door knocker with black crape.
THE PROCEDURE
Death in the Victorian/Edwardian age in Malden was much more commonplace than today. If the person died in an accident, a Coroner’s Inquest would be held at the request of the doctor before signing the death certificate. Because of necessity, the inquest would be held within 24 hours normally in a public house or other building. Examination of the body was basic and a verdict recorded on the certificate. Death by suicide, would mean that the assets would be forfeited to the state, so normally the proviso of words like “while temporarily insane” were included for the sake of immediate family.
If there was not an undertaker to take charge of the proceedings, a local carpenter/joiner would provide a coffin, and if he had the room his business could also accommodate a laying-in chapel. Shrouds were available to buy, or could be made at home. Coffins were usually made of oak or elm with a sawdust filled mattress with charcoal or lavender added. If the family was well to do, and the burial was in a vault, a lead lined coffin was used possibly covered in velvet or satin with embellishments.
Mrs Margaretta Sim of Coombe House who died in 1871 was buried in the family vault at Kingston in a lead coffin encased in another of polished oak. The hearse was drawn by four horses with black velvet covers on their backs and black plumes about six inches long, and was followed by seven coaches and eight carriages holding four to six people, as the great and the good came to pay their final respects. The arrangements were carried out by Shrubsoles of Kingston.
When the master of the house John Coysgarne Sim died in 1875, his funeral procession consisted of the hearse with four horses, then fourteen mourning coaches each with a pair of horses. Then came the two coaches used by the house, followed by 20 further coaches from the neighbourhood. Thirty-seven coaches in all. It is interesting to note that all the mourners were men, because women were regarded as too emotional for such an occasion.
FUNERAL COSTS
Normal family funerals would include the coffin being kept in the front parlour at home until the ceremony. If no parlour was available, then the coffin could go on two kitchen chairs covered by a tablecloth. A carriage with horses was expensive and could cost around £100 to hire, so it was not unusual for a handcart operated by up to 4 men to use to transport the securely strapped coffin to the graveyard. A black cloth called a pall could be hired to cover the coffin which is where the name pallbearer comes from. Help with the cost was available from a contributory burial fund, when the average price of a funeral could be as much as £5. This was gradually replaced by life insurance. The other alternative was a parish or pauper funeral which carried s dreadful stigma. Cremations were illegal until 1885, and did not become commonplace until the 1940s.
There were usually two parts to most funerals. The first was inside a church and could be quite short, whilst the second part was at the graveside with close members of the family but as mentioned previously no women. Many bereaved wives would have to wait until a more convenient time and when the graveside was quiet to privately grieve for their late husbands.
Other traditions included the closing of blinds especially among traders as a sign of respect. If there was a funeral service at a local church, there would be a tolling of a single bell when the procession left for the cemetery.
After the funeral, everybody would go back to the family house for a meal. This was mostly in the form of cold meat and trimmings and was called the wake.
The horrors of World War One put an end to the lavish and regulated procedures to be observed and the ceremony developed into the solemnity we observe today.
